Pumpkins

Marc doesn't like to carve pumpkins and  I feel like it is a necessary act of motherhood to do this tradition with my family. Therefore, every year we carve one ceremonial pumpkin.

This little guy was one of four we grew in our garden this year.

Heidi joined in the festivities and Vivian decided to give her a show of all of her little pumpkins.

Yvette came too and made some delicious cookies with Lucy.

Getting all the yucky guts out.

I was shocked when Marc said he would help this year. Then we realized that the hole (which he cut, interestingly enough) was too small for his hand to fit through.

So that left Mom to finish the job. David was absolutely mesmerized by what I was doing and I'm pretty sure I was a rock star at this point. I loved carving away with his little hand on my shoulder as he was leaning on me. It made it difficult to carve like this, but I didn't mind one bit.

Our finished dude.

The next day Lucy, Vivian and I decorated some more pumpkins with stickers. (Do you love Lucy's pose?)

Vivi with her creation. She was so pleased.

Pumpkinland 2012

Lucy is "helping" David to look at the camera. Such a good big sister.

Our handsome little man.

Darling little sisters.

Cutest pumpkin in the patch.

Finding our way through the corn field.

Love this shot of my little man.

Having fun in the pumpkin patch.

Peeking through

Lucy and David were so scared of this tunnel at this age, but little monkey Vivian thought it was great! And so went our 5th annual trip to Pumpkinland!

Pumpkin Patch

I took advantage of Lucy being at preschool to spend some quality time David and Vivian at a pumpkin patch. They were fascinated by the animals.

They thought the pumpkins were incredible. Each of them picked out a white one to take home.

This whole area was filled with corn. David ran around in it while Vivian tried to eat it.

David thought the maze was great. He had the biggest grin on his face when he found his way out. He is becoming quite the independent soul lately.

Then we took a hay ride around the pumpkin patch, by the animals and through a barn. The adventure was a hit with the kids and I loved the opportunity to spend more time with just the two of them.

BYU Homecoming

We got the family all ready and walked down to see The BYU Homecoming Parade. I was running behind and came out to find my talented husband doing this as he was walking to the parade. Isn't he talented?

There is just something a little magical about a parade and the kids loved all the free candy and toys they threw out.

Vivian wasn't quite sure what she thought of Cosmo. We'll have to teach her ;)

Then we headed to The McKay School tailgate party where we dined on hot dogs, chips and mint brownies. David won a prize from the raffle in the first few minutes we arrived. He was pretty excited about that. From there we walked to the game. David was a bit overwhelmed at first, but he warmed up to being there. Lucy on the other hand loved it. She was cracking me up as I watched her cheer at all the right times and say things like, "Go BYU! Go Cougars!" We made it happily to half time, then I went home with the kids while Marc stayed to watch the end. I love my alma mater

Preschool at our house

It was our turn to host preschool at our house for David and his little buddies. The theme was citizenship. We started out with our opening time that included: a prayer, pledge, weather, calendar show & tell and nursery rhymes. Then for music time we sang You're a grand old flag as we marched around the house with instruments while I waved the flag. I then read them a story about America. Next we talked about being a good citizen. We shared ways we can be nice. Then I showed them this "service door tag" I had made. I role played doing something nice for David and I showed them how I could put it on his door. Then David saw the door tag and knew he had been served so he did something nice for Vivian and put the door tag on her door. The kids each got to make a service door tag to take home. Finally, they just had time to play with one another which they did very well. Such darling children.

Getting ready for General Conference

The Monday night before General Conference, we invited some neighbors to join us for Family Home Evening. Marc set up the tent and we went in there and talked about how the tent protected us from things like the rain and bugs. Then we talked about how when prophets speak to us, they also protect us. Each kid got a a little folded paper to look like a tent that had a picture of a prophet and what they have told us to do to help protect us on it. We discussed these (quite briefly with eleven children ages five and under) and then roasted marshmallows. It was a great evening.

Walking to the temple

At the dedication of The Brigham City Temple, I felt strongly that I wanted to do something that would help my children understand that going to the temple was a big deal. The thought came to me that we should walk the three miles to get there. So we did! Along with some dear friends.

I wasn't sure what to expect, but the walk was actually very enjoyable. The kids played well with one another as we performed "musical strollers" the whole way there. I also treasured the time I had to chat with Kellie as we walked and pushed our strollers full of sweet babies. When we arrived, we had a picnic at the temple.

And here is one of the biggest reasons why I do everything I can to keep the temple and the covenants I made there a central piece to every day of my life.

Wednesday night pajama parties

On Wednesday nights Marc heads out for all sorts of meetings with church. At first I felt really overwhelmed by this. I have since turned it into a party. The kids know that when Dad leaves, we put on jammies, pop popcorn and watch "a little show" until bed time. We love our pajama parties. Then once they are all in bed, I get to have some alone time where I participate in a handful of guilty pleasures and crafts. Amazing how something I used to dread has turned into something I now treasure.

Devlopmental phases

I love how these three pumpkins so clearly illustrate the developmental phases of my three children.

Why I believe marriage should be between a man and a woman

I would like to share something very personal to me. I know this subject is one that can be very emotional and dividing. My intent is in no way to evoke anger, make others feel badly or to say that the way someone else may feel is any way wrong.  I have spent much time with people I care deeply about who feel differently than I do about this. I have always felt that in the end, they walked away knowing that I love and care deeply for them. Knowing also that regardless of their choice, my love and friendship for them will not change. I simply want to take the time to express why I feel so deeply about this topic. I hope that respect and understanding can prevail.

I believe that marriage is ordained by God and should be between a man and a woman. This truth has always made sense to me. It has always penetrated understanding both to my heart and mind.  Yet lately, I have found myself searching my soul to understand WHY I felt so strongly about this. I ache when I see those I love struggle with feeling the same way I do about this and yet they also have same sex attraction. I didn't understand why someone who is righteous and wanting to do what is right may not be able to marry someone they truly love. It made me sad. In fact, I still shed tears for my friends who find themselves in this predicament.

In my process of trying to understand this, I have come to more fully understand a very powerful truth. This truth is at the very heart of what I believe. It is why I have lived and continue to live the way I do. It is truly the pinnacle of why I believe we are on this earth.

When Marc and I were married, we chose to be sealed for time and all eternity. We believe our sealing united us and our posterity for time and all eternity. We believe that through committing ourselves, our marriage and our families to be sealed to one another and to God, we have chosen to follow Him. By so doing, we will not only be led back to Him, but we will also possess the ability to become like Him.

This is where so much has been made clear to me. I have come to understand that a very critical piece of our ability to become like God is found in our ability to unite, commit, sacrifice with and work with a spouse of the opposite sex.

Perhaps this simple story will help illustrate my point to a small degree. When Marc and I were first married we were having a disagreement. I began to tell him about how, "If Julie or Heidi were here, they would just say . . ." and I asked why he couldn't just respond like them. Marc looked at me and in a very respectful way said, "Well that is how a female would respond. Would you like to be married to a woman or a man?" I laughed and saw his point completely.

I have had numerous times I have been humbled in my marriage as I have had to learn how to work things out with the insights of a man and a woman. Some times have been much easier than others. Nevertheless, I would testify that I know my ability to understand God's plan has been increased. The results for my family have been made stronger because of the power that comes when a man and a woman choose to humble themselves, work together and seek to find the ultimate win for their families.

I believe that if two members of the same sex were to be married, they would not have the opportunities to be challenged and to grow as they would in a marriage between a man and a woman. Because of the sacred ordinance of marriage I have committed to with a member of the opposite sex, I believe I have the ability to achieve the highest potential God has in store for me. Knowing how much joy and direction this brings me regarding my family and exaltation, I cannot remain silent and not share what I know with others. 

I am not asking others to believe what I believe. I am simply wanting to share what I believe to be true from the deepest part of my soul.

Vivian 16 months

How can my baby be 16 months old? Tonight during family prayer, Vivian toddled in and sat down in the circle as she giggled and grabbed Marc's hand. I looked at him and said, "Can we just always have a 16 month-old in our house?" She is just so darn cute. I am filled with joy when I hear her wake up in the morning and she says, "Momma? Momma? Momma? Momma? Momma?" When I go in to get her she just smiles at me from her crib. I melt every time I pick her up and she wraps her sweet tiny hands around my neck and pats my hair against my neck. Then she leans back and gives me sweet little kisses over and over. Quickly she'll look around and say, "Cucy?" and she explodes with joy when Lucy comes into her room. Once her diaper is changed, we head out to the front room and she asks, "Dadda? Dadda? Dadda? Dadda? Dadda?" This girl is overjoyed to see her Daddy. Then we sit on the couch together with her milk. She drinks it slowly as she puts her index finger in my mouth. I let her. She is my baby. Each night when I lay her down to sleep, I offer  a prayer. Though the words may change from time to time,  one phrase remains constant, "Heavenly Father, we are so thankful to have this sweet baby in our family."

Our backseat . . .

looks like this these days. Some people may see this and feel sorry for us, some may think we're crazy, and others may wonder if we know what causes this to occur. When I look at it; I am reminded how so many of my dreams have come true. 

September 29th

(Vivian painting a rainbow for Jonah's Mommy & Daddy)

I can't believe tomorrow it will be a year from the day we lost sweet Jonah. The feelings are still very raw and it amazes me how quickly the tears can still come. I am overwhelmed when I reflect upon the intensity of the events from that day. I couldn't bring myself to can spaghetti sauce this year. I struggle with leaving my children. I even wrestle with the idea of letting Vivian cry when I put her down to bed, part of me just wants to hold her (like all night long). I am able to function just fine. I can leave my children and feel at peace when I am away and much to Marc's agreement, I am able to suppress the idea of co-sleeping with my 16 month old. Nevertheless, I am reminded that I have experienced something very tragic.

As I have reflected upon this experience and where I have come in this last year, I have enjoyed the opportunities to ponder on how I have grown. My testimony of eternal families has been solidified. I know that Jonah still lives. I know we will see him again. I know that he is and will always be Julie and Jordans' son.

I have gained a new perspective on trials. I believe I used to always try to find the silver lining when trials came. I would look for why they happened and how I really was better off in the end because of the challenge I was presented with. I think differently now.

I have gained a knowledge and supreme peace that trials come as opportunities for us to become closer to and more like God. I do not have to find out how things are better because Jonah died. I don't have to know this, because things are not better without him. It's an awful terrible thing that is very very sad. And it's okay to acknowledge that something tragic occurred.

But what I want my children and all those I care about to know is this: because I was a part of something very difficult, I have been blessed to more clearly see God and acknowledge the beauty of charity that is all around me and I am so very thankful. I am thankful to see others with more patience and love because we never know the burdens they may be carrying. I am thankful for the increased moments of pure joy I have spent watching my children dance and play because I understand just how precious life really is. I have lived and cherished the details of my time with those I love. And most importantly, I have come to know how blessed I am to be a daughter of God. For this, I cannot express enough gratitude.

Another perk . . .

To Daddy working so close is going to visit him for lunch. The kids get giddy as soon as they see him.

Rise and Shout

We are trying really hard to teach our children about how to bleed blue in our house. However, the day we played The U, Lucy insisted on wearing her RED ruby slippers with her BYU attire. I am a little anxious about what this means.

A Memory

My sister and I shared a room until her senior year of high school. I really treasure the time we had to bond through this experience. We often stayed up way too late talking and giggling and I'm pretty sure I learned most of what I needed to know about the birds and the bees through those late night chats as well.

At any rate, for a long time we had a trundle bed (you know, the twin bed with the other twin bed that pulls our from underneath). Our trundle bed had this feature where it could be popped up (clicked into place) and be even in height to the other bed. The key to that previous sentence was "clicked into place."  If you did not click the bed into place, the bed would come tumbling down leading to a great degree of shock and laughter often all at once (but not always by the same people).

Whether it was because I was the younger sister or the sister that would actually make the trundle bed and put it back under the other bed so it would be out of the way, I was the one who slept on the bed that was pulled out and clicked into place.

Often my sister would do one of two things. Either I would come in and see that my bed was already out and ready for me and I would be so grateful she did this for me (I fell for it every time) OR she would ask me to go get her a drink or a snack once we were already in bed (and for some reason I almost always obliged). My sister would take these opportunities to un-click my bed while still leaving it balancing perfectly upright. Without fail, I would hop into bed and the bed would collapse sending my heart racing and my sister into hysterics.

One time I can remember coming into bed carefully balancing crackers and cheese (a requested snack) in my hands and the moment I cautiously put my knee on the bed, I fell and everything in my hands flew all over the bed. I believe I was mad at the time. Now, I just look back and laugh . . . .

David's turn for preschool

Our Handsome Jack started preschool today! He was so excited. He has had his backpack for about a month now (he selected a BYU backpack I might add) and he has been talking about going to preschool ever since. Every time we would take Lucy to her preschool, he would think he should get to go too. So today was a magical day at our house.

He selected his car shirt to wear and thought it was awesome that he had paints and scissors of his very own. Lucy was so excited for him. When we got there his little buddy opened the door and said, "We've got a snack." And that was enough for David, he went right in!  He is in a neighborhood co-op with four other little boys (no girls). Should make for an adventure! I must say I got a bit emotional setting out his clothes last night. I just kept looking at him and he all of a sudden looked to be so much older. I love this little boy so much. He truly holds my heart.

Staycation 2012

Our staycation this year was very loosely planned and it end up being a blast! We had planned to stay at hotel nearby, but before we booked anything Lucy mentioned that she wanted to sleep in our backyard-so we did! We started off the morning by walking to The Provo Bakery. I even indulged and got an old fashioned donut-Yum. Then we headed to The Springville Library for story hour. I loved watching David raise his hand and participate. He is getting so big. Then Marc and the kids drove me to meet up with a friend so we could eat lunch with Condoleeza Rice, Mia Love, Senator Hatch, Governor Herbert . . . . (it was so inspiring). The biggest take home message for me was the importance of FREEDOM. "Under freedom people reach their highest potential." -Condoleeza Rice. When Marc came to get me, Vivian and David were asleep in the car and Lucy was fading fast. We decided to let them sleep and took a drive through the canyon. I love to see the leaves this time of year. I treasured talking to Marc as the kids slept. Before we knew it, we were in Heber so we checked out the Heber Creeper. David LOVED that we were at a train station! Then we dined at The Dairy Keen-such delicious shakes. We wandered back to Provo and Marc decided to buy a fire pit while I entertained the kids at The Dollar Store. We came home, set up the tent and fire pit, invited Uncle Ryan and Aunt Jayna to join us with Eliza & Norah and the night was nothing short of magical . . . (Notice how David is learning well how to be a good Steed Man above.)

The cousins dining on hot dogs and s'mores while they enjoy the fire and glow and the dark bracelets.

Roasting marshmallows with my love. I love being a parent and getting to plan all these cool things to do with my spouse.

The kids ate so much chocoalte, marshmallows and hot dogs. It was great. And isn't Norah darling!

We always love an evening spent with these two. And the kids love to play with their cousins. The kids thought the tent was the coolest thing ever.

Such a blessed little family. By this point Vivian was already inside the house fast asleep. The long day had just worn her out. Lucy & David were full of giggles and energy though.

Marc slept in the tent with Lucy & David while I "sacrificed" and slept inside with Vivian. He told them lots of stories-he is such a great Dad.

Vivian was ready to party in the morning.

Then we had pancake muffins for breakfast, went on a walk and then headed to Heidi's to swim. Now Marc is golfing while the little ones nap. We will go on a date when he returns while the kids play with a sitter. The greatest thing I have on this earth is the TIME I have to be with my sweet family.

My little social butterfly . . .

Lucy told me the following story after preschool the other day and it made me smile: "Mom, a lot of the kids at preschool want to sit by me so Miss Midge told them, 'You can't always sit by Lucy. You will have to take turns."'