Welcome back my dear friend . . .

Here I am, four months along with my third pregnancy. I am going to try to put into words some thoughts I have had regarding this pregnancy. As I laid in bed last night unable to get comfortable with all the symptoms beginning to come on (nausea, numbness in my hands, congestion, electric shocks in my abdomen . . . ) I thought, the first two times this was all happening to me I found myself running to every book and website I could find to discover what in the world was going on. But this time, it is different.

This time, it feels as though I am welcoming back an old friend. You know the type of friend that you always love to see even though their presence generally brings with it some pain and sorrow. The friend that makes life complicated. The friend that stretches your ability to practice charity. And yet, it's this friend that your life would not be complete without. It would not be complete, because despite all the burdens, the pain and the emotions this friend makes you go through, you know you wouldn't trade the ultimate purpose behind this friendship for anything.

So I find myself saying things like, welcome back numb hands and over sensitive smeller. You are not an easy thing to have back in my life, but you are a very, very welcome site. You are welcome because I have come to learn that all of your dear sweet symptoms lead me to a joy I never knew possible. I know that through the trials you bring me, I am in a better position to be the mother I want to be. And I know that with every pain comes a sweet companionship of beautiful symptoms like feeling my baby move within me. So welcome back old friend. I missed you and I will always treasure the memory of your companionship.