5 months of sweetness

How can it possibly be five months since sweet Vivian entered our lives? That smile says it all, she is the definition of joy and we are so thankful to have her in our family.

This little lady loves to go on walks and hikes. She has spent a good number of hours hanging out in that baby carrier. The bjorn is a given tool that will make her happy (accompanied with walking once it's on of course). She is a happy little hiker and can rarely resist the urge to take a little snooze once she's in there. Oh, she melts my heart!

She is growing well and seems to be cutting teeth?!? Thank goodness for her Sophie the giraffe, she loves that thing. She is currently on her third cold (poor third child). The other two resulted in ear infections so I am keeping my fingers crossed that this one will not have the same result. She is very talkative (I swear she says "hi" all the time and last night I think she said, "Dad").  She thinks Lucy is just about the coolest thing around (David is starting to be pretty neat too). I love to see her flap her arms and kick her legs when she sees me. She makes this "stop everything and coo" movement that is reserved just for me and I love it. I can't resist picking her up when I walk past her and she gives me her best smile and love in her eyes. She has got my number and I am just fine with that. We love you Vivi!

Pumpkinland take 4

Our fourth pilgrimage to Pumpkinland went down like this: David thought everything was great. He liked the larger sized pumpkins the most and really enjoyed the lights in the "spook alley"

This little lady was super. She was happy to be held the whole time and shook her little hands and feet with excitement with each new thing she saw and as she watched her brother and sister running all around.

The Steed Men sure are amazing Daddies!

Exploring the outskirts of the corn maze.

We got to go with some of our favorite people: Aunt Jayna, Uncle Ryan, Eliza and Norah!

We have a picture with our family here when Lucy was the one in the bjorn, one with David in the bjorn and now it's Vivian's turn! We are so blessed.

Lucy is such a sweetheart. She had so much fun running and playing with Eliza & David and she was great to hold Vivian for pictures.

Oh sweet little Vivian, how you brighten our days!

Lucy being the scarecrow.

We decided to take these little pumpkins home with us!

David thought being surrounded by pumpkins was incredible. He kept saying, "Pumpkin! Big pumpkin!"

This makes me smile.

And so does this.

Came home with the cutest pumpkin from the patch.

Today . . .

We went to Sam's Club to pick up some medicine. While we were waiting, I got the kids a hot dog (yes, you read that right) and then we watched Lion King in the tv section while they ate their hot dogs. When we walked out, it was a beautiful day so we walked over to a stream and fed the birds the buns from the hot dogs. It was wonderful.

Lucy: Forty-Seven Months

Dear Lucy-

Recently your friend Jonah passed away. He was only 14 months old. As touchingly documented by Mom, we as your parents have learned some important lessons. As I mentioned to your brother, I will be writing you a monthly letter as well.

Here are some things I've noticed about you during the past month:

1. You have a beautiful smile. I love how your entire face lights up when you laugh and you show all your pretty teeth. I am grateful that you have lots of opportunities to smile, and I hope you always will. Now if I could only get you to smile that way when I take your picture.
2. You have a knack for figuring out technology. It's not a problem now for Mom or me to ask you to set up the iPad, start a DVD or VHS, or navigate the PBSKids website using a trackpad. As we speak you are playing a matching game on the iPad.
3. You've learned to push the swing. This has been a critical lesson in cause and effect. Indeed, I think you are realizing that cause-effect relationships apply in other areas of life as well. This is a lesson I hope you never forget, especially as life gets more complicated.
4. You love your sister. You frequently stop whatever you are doing and want to get her attention. You call her "chubs," "boop," and other variations of those nicknames. You are often the first one to notice when she wakes from her naps. Sometimes when Vivian is fussy, you are the one we turn to to help calm her down. I'm excited to see how this sisterhood bond develops over the years.
5. You are an extrovert. You like to have the attention of others, and you're verbal enough to be interesting to adults. For example, the other day you wanted to talk to someone about inertia and simple levers. Who wouldn't want to hear about those things from an almost-four-year-old?
6. You love to move. Dance class is a favorite activity, and you are certain to show me what you learned in your most recent class. Last night, we put on some kid's music and danced throughout the house. You absolutely loved it!

When I talk with your sisters, I remind them of something that I think every girl should believe about themselves. I say it to them every time, with the hopes that it will become a part of their belief system. I'll expound upon it a little this time, but in the future will sign off in the typical fashion I use with your sisters.

Remember that you are a good girl. Remember that you are beautiful on the inside. Remember that you are pretty on the outside. Remember that you are smart.

Love,

-Dad

And a child shall teach them . . .

Last Thursday my dear friend was at our home with her sweet son, Jonah. While they were here, Jonah choked on a fruit snack and died. It was tragic, it was awful, and it was very very painful to watch my friend have to go through this. Despite all of that, I am so grateful God put me in the place I needed to be so that I could be there for my friend in her most difficult moment.

It has been just under a week since sweet Jonah left this earth. A lot of tears have been shed, many sleepless nights have been endured, and many moments of comfort and healing have been embraced.

I want to take a moment to try to share some of my thoughts on what this little 14 month old boy (along with his mother) have taught me.

-Life is precious: We had been canning spaghetti sauce and I needed to go pick up Lucy from dance class (literally a 5 minute task). In the time I was gone, the accident occurred.

-There is a power in sisterhood: Although I came home to a tragic scene of an ambulance, firetruck, cop cars and all my neighbors standing in MY front yard, the memory I have in my heart is that of sisterhood. Sisterhood because one friend was there holding my dear friend Julie while two other sisters were holding my children and yet another sister was running down the street to see how she could help. These sweet sisters looked at me as the ambulance was pulling away (I had been out of my car at this point maybe 60 seconds) and they said, "Go be with her. We have your babies. GO". And I went.

-God comforts us even when we may not want to hear what He has to tell us. I prayed like I have NEVER prayed before that God would heal Jonah. Each time I prayed, it felt so empty and I just kept thinking I had to pray harder. As the moments went on, I realized this was God helping me accept what was going to happen.

-God is in the details of our lives: There were so many tender mercies that occurred throughout this event. One that stands out, was that a blanket (that was not there when I left) was laying on the porch for Julie to place my Vivian on so she could care for her son. Oh if we could only see the many angels that must surround us.

-Our baptismal covenant to mourn with those who mourn is so real and so needed. Do we fully comprehend it's value? Are we too quick to jump to the comfort and lifting of burdens? Mourning with those who mourn is vital.

-Take TIME for those you love: That morning as we made spaghetti sauce, Jonah came running in to see what was making the nose coming from the blender. I scooped him up so he could have a look. Oh how I treasure this moment.  I am committed to having many more moments like these with my children. I want to be continually caught up in the wonderment of my childrens' lives.

-In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can’t see. I had to pick my car up from the shop the next day and everyone in there was just so happy and fine. I literally had to stop myself from turning to them and saying, "Did you know Jonah died?" Oh how we must be patient with one another.

-When all is said and done, life is about relationships:I am so thankful Julie and I have made the time to be in the details of each other's life. I love her. I love her husband. I love her Jonah.  She is my sister.

-There is power in the resurrection: After this occurred I kept wondering how I would even begin to explain this to my children. How will I teach Lucy about death? The thought made my mind spin. Then my sweet husband reminded me, we will teach them this by accompanying our  lessons with insights on the resurrection. Oh how this put my mind at ease.

The aching is still so real. The pain is still very strong. The heartache and loss is incomprehensible. It is a difficult time. And the knowledge and insights are incredible. And most importantly, the love I have in my heart for my children, my husband, and for Julie and her sweet family has grown to a level I did not before comprehend.

David: Twenty-Eight Months

Dear David-

A few days ago I learned an important lesson from your good friend, Jonah. He taught me that life is precious and that circumstances can change quickly and unexpectedly. You don't realize it, but you will miss him. I miss him, too. Even at this young age, he's been a great friend to you, and you to him.

So, with that sobering reminder fresh in my mind, I've decided to write you a letter on the monthly anniversary of your birthday. Without further ado, here are some things I've noticed about you during the past month:

1. You have a kind heart. I've known this for a while, but it's been reinforced to me almost daily. When Vivian is crying, you come tell me. You don't like it when people are upset with you and you try to quickly assure your positive standing by approaching them for hugs. I love that you're tender-hearted. I would much rather have you be so than to have you be insensitive.
2. You like to read. When I read books to you at night, you will ask for "that book" and read it again to yourself while Lucy and I are singing the night-time song. Sometimes you read out loud about "Max" or about "Love you through and through."
3. Your curiosity about how things works fascinates me. When I swing you in the porch swing, you look up to where the chain is connected. When playing with the garden hose, you study how the water comes out, and what happens when you put your finger over the end. I wonder what you will do with this curiosity you have.
4. You are sticking up better for yourself with your sister. Lucy has long known that she can "boss" you around. I've noticed now that you're tolerating that behavior from her less and less. Good for you, son; while I appreciate your gentle soul, I don't want you to be a pushover. And...sometime in the very near future, I think you and Lucy are going to both come to the realization that younger doesn't necessarily mean smaller.
5. You are doing great "using your words" when you get frustrated. You still scream, but when prompted, will with increasing frequency explain what has upset you, or what you want. Thank you for this. I appreciate understanding.

Thanks for being my good, smart, handsome man.

Love,

Dad

Dancing

My sister got my girls these leotards when I was pregnant with Vivian. After I got Lucy ready for dance today, I just had to put Vivian in her dance outfit too! Oh the joys of raising little ladies!

Handsome Jack

Oh my dear sweet David . . . you have owned my heart from the very first moment you entered this world. As much as I hate to admit this, I am afraid you sometimes take a backseat as the middle child. Daddy and I talked about this and we decided that he would take your sisters each week so that I could have time to just be with you. I TREASURED this time with you. We played with cars, read all your favorite books (over and over again),  went on a walk, made snowmen out of the playdough we made together, and I took the time to just sit back and watch you play. You are such a clever boy. You are constantly trying to figure out how things work. You like to take different balls and throw them down the hill in our backyard and you study what is going on each time. I am in awe with your brain. It also melts my heart to hear you "read" your favorite books. The Big Hungry Bear and The Gingerbread Man are your current favorites. I love when you look up at me and say, "Can't catch me! I'm the gingerbread man!" Or when you see the strawberry in the big hungry bear book and say, "Isguised" (disguised) and then you point to the strawberry with glasses and a mustache on and say "Otato head!" (potato head). We love you David. I hope you will always know the joy you bring into our lives.

4 months

Sweet Vivian is 4 months old! We are all still madly in love with her, she is still a great sleeper, she still loves to nurse and Lucy is still her biggest fan! She is my easiest baby thus far and just seems to genuinely love being around others. She will give a smile to almost anyone at almost anytime. She really knows who I am and is beginning to think Marc is pretty cool too. We Love you Vivian!

First day of pre-school

Lucy has started preschool! She won't start kindergarten for two more years so we're doing a neighborhood co-op this year. I am excited for it (but not near as excited as Lucy is). We made a calendar for her to track when preschool was starting and when the day finally came, she wore her backpack around all morning. I love it.

I am working with some incredible mothers and we decided we wanted our focus for our childrens' first school experience to be centered around values. I love that I can be doing this in my child's life. I've always been a teacher, but being able to use my skills with my own children is heaven.

*Note: We just went next door for her first class. As we started to go out the front door, Lucy turned to me and said, "Mom I know where I'm going." When I asked if I could go  with her because I was excited to see her start preschool, she said, "Um, ok."

Things I'm grateful for on a Thursday afternoon

I'm grateful for a little boy's smile that beams with pride in his ability to "help" clean up the house by putting everything in the sink. I'm grateful for my new couch, but even more than that, I'm grateful for a husband who willingly helped me plan the new layout for our family room. I'm grateful Vivian likes to fall asleep best by nursing . . . I love the tender connection this brings to us. I love that Lucy does yoga in her dance class. I love that I have a Lucy and Vivi. I'm thankful for a little boy's sweet expression to his sister every time he says, "Thank you Wucy." I can't get enough of hearing David say, "humidifier, lamisil and Abinadi". I'm in love with hearing my children talk about letters and colors. I'm grateful to be married to the man of my dreams. I'm thankful he so lovingly puts up with my emotions.  I'm grateful I didn't marry any of the other men I knew before I met him. I'm thankful for students I can associate with through BYU (both past and present). I'm grateful one of my closest friends right now is a woman twice my age who I serve with in the church. I'm thankful I don't have to know it all. I'm grateful for forgiving children. I'm grateful for the atonement that affords me the promise of starting new every day. I'm thankful for the brownie recipe that is worth only 2 points on Weight Watchers. I'm also thankful for vanilla cupcakes that are worth a lot more than 2 points. I'm thankful for a dear friend that knows how to show up at the perfect time. I'm grateful I can read to my children.

Little Vivian is 3 Months Old

A few stats: Weight: 13 lbs 7 oz   Length: 24 in

A few highlights: Champion sleeper (10pm-7am), very sweet baby, so mellow, beautiful smile, in love with her big sister, just starting to get anxious with strangers, loves to talk with her stuffed animals, very verbal (nursing takes twice as long because she has to stop frequently to tell me something-I love it), loves to be outside, loves to listen to Daddy's voice, bath time is a favorite activity, and my most cherished highlight: she is a great cuddler.

Ever since birth if Vivian was upset, as soon as you even started to help her she would calm down. She is a very grateful baby. I know that may sound weird to say about a baby, but I truly see her gratitude the moment I begin to help her and it melts my heart.

Truly our home has been blessed with an angel

My attempt to get all 3 of my children in the same picture . . .

What we've been up to . . .

Vivian modeling her yoga skirt from Grandma

Vivian is working hard on growing

Lucy can always get her to smile.

See the cars by the tv? David always has to put them there no matter how many times I take them down.

Lucy reading to Vivian. Melt my heart!

Vivian loves to talk with her fishy friends on the swing. (All my kids have loved those fish)

We play outside A LOT!

This onesie from my sister cracks me up! And isn't Vivian adorable!

Vegas

Our welcoming note from our cute nephews.

Vivian's first time swimming. She's not yet a fan. But boy was I grateful for the relief from the heat!

Remember when you just hung out in your swimming suit? Oh the days . . .

Grandpa with his two newest additions: Jane and Vivian (they are just 1 month apart).

Marc stuck Vivian here and she was instantly swarmed by her fan club. It was so cute.

All four of us sisters (ok so none of us are blood related, but we're sisters nevertheless) had babies within 10 months of each other 2 years ago

And two years later . . . we had another set!

The happy family all together to share in the celebration of sweet Jane.

A beautiful moment on the drive home when all three kids were sleeping!

Which led to some very happy parents who enjoyed an opportunity to chat without interruptions. Happy roadtrip!

Today . . .

Today I got spit-up on my shirt and I didn't mind because it meant I have a baby in my home to call my own.
Today I didn't get dressed until lunch time and I didn't care because it meant I was busy playing with my sweet children.
Today I sat in a rocking chair until my back ached and I rejoiced because it meant I was holding the precious baby sent to me from above.
Today I listened again to my daughter tell me about The Wizard of Oz and I smiled because of the gift that is mine to raise her.
Today I tickled my son as he threw a tantrum while I changed his diaper because I was thankful for the strength he's been blessed with.
Today I reflected on a sweet baby and dear mother who will not have the same blessings today that I will.
Today I took time to be thankful for the simple things.

Sweet Ruby Jane

One of my former students has a sweet little daughter named Ruby Jane who is in desperate need of a liver transplant. Will you please take a moment to pray for her and her dear family. 

The more I get to know Ruby and hear of her Mom's trials, the more I recognize just how very blessed I am. They both have taught me how magical it is to be a part of the simple things in life. Through their example I find myself getting on the floor and playing with my children more. I embrace the opportunities I have to do things for my children like bathe them or sing to them as I get them dressed. I welcome opportunities to feed and eat a meal with my family. I find myself holding my children a little longer and listening a bit more intently. I  laugh more and get frustrated less. And I find myself welcoming the opportunities we have to just be at home with each other. Simply put, I have been taught (and reminded) the blessing it is to be a Mom. 
***I wrote this last night and I just learned that sweet little Ruby is now resting in heaven, no longer in pain.