What I wish I would have known . . .

I found it very enlightening to realize how much more peaceful I was as a mother with my third baby than I was with my first. I feel like I have learned a lot and for what it's worth, I'd like to share some of what I now know and what I wish I would have been willing to listen to and implement prior to baby number one.

I might also add I think much of motherhood comes from experiencing it so I doubt I would have listened to much of this advice prior to having Lucy, but I somehow wish I could have convinced the new mother in me to understand what I now do.

• YOU are your baby's Mother. There are many "styles" and "methods" and people willing to give advice. And in the end, you will be the one who must deal with the consequences of the methods you choose to prescribe to. Some women would prefer the attached style while others are nazi about following a strict schedule. I find that not one style is better than another, but perhaps some are better fitted for the personality of the mother. Choose to be the mother that best fits you and your baby. In the end, I find myself being a mixture of several methods and what matters most to me is not what everyone else thinks, but what works best for me and my baby. May I add, you will probably be most happy if you choose to support the other mothers around you in the decisions they feel are best.
• Breastfeeding is WORK! I nursed all three of my babies and it was not until my third that I finally "got it down". And you know how it worked? I took supplements (fenugreek) and I pumped for 20 minutes after EVERY feeding for the first three weeks of my baby's life. That's right, I would feed my baby and then I would sit with a little machine and pump for another 20 minutes-even in the middle of the night! It was hard, but I felt like it was very worth it and I knew from my previous two babies, I didn't naturally just make a lot of milk so I was willing to do what I needed to in order to get enough milk. 
• With this said, I have had to supplement all three babies with formula because I just don't seem to make enough milk to keep them satisfied. My last baby has required the least supplement by far, but she still seems to need some. And you know what? It is totally FINE! If my babies get formula, they are going to be alright. I think often people feel like you either breastfeed or you do bottles. For me, I was able to find a nice balance of both and it has worked out great. 
• I am a HUGE fan of sleep training your baby. It is wonderful to have your baby on a schedule. AND (going back to my first point) this fits my personality well-I am a very organized/structured person. With this said, I learned with my third that if I just wanted to hold her or nurse her to sleep, that was fine too. She is almost one and I just nursed her to sleep tonight and earlier today, I laid her down for her nap and she cried for five minutes and was out. You know what rules I follow? I follow the rules of my heart and I do what feels right for my baby in the moment I am in.
• I have learned that one of the most beautiful things I can do with my time is to hold my babies. I hold them as long as I can-until my body aches. I soak up these moments. Because I have come to understand it is a very short, sacred season of time you have where your babies want to be held by you like they do when they are so little.
• I have thrown out developmental charts and focused more on embracing beautiful moments with my baby. I don't stress over when she is sitting, what she is saying and so forth as it compares to a chart. Instead, I watch her pull herself up and I smile. Then I try hard to embed the moment into my soul. This approach has made me a much more satisfied mother. 
• The advice my own mother, mother-in law and Grandma give me is worth far more than any book I could ever read. I wish I would have understood this with my first baby. 
• I could probably sum this all up by saying, with my third baby I have learned to be confident in the mother I am. I have come to trust that what I feel in my heart holds the greatest value for me and my babies.