The Lecture I Would Like to Give . . .

I feel I was handed a list of grand expectations for my life with each passing year of my young womanhood experience. This list included things like, but was not limited to: receiving all the education I could, marrying a wonderful man, being a supportive wife and nurturing mother all while being very kind and charitable to those around me. The list is good-I wouldn't change it. But I find it interesting how this somewhat perfect list has evolved for me over the years.

1) Education: I was going to school originally to learn what I needed to be a good Mom. I never would have dreamed that I would one day have a Master's degree and be offered a position on faculty at the age of 26. I was also NEVER going to work when I was a Mother and yet it is right- for now. We do not plan on me working much longer, and it has gone against everything I used to believe. I have really had to learn that personal revelation for my family will not be determined by my culture, but through the quiet whisperings and peace to me and my husband as we commune with our Heavenly Father. I am constantly finding myself communicating with my Heavenly Father and asking, "Lord, where should I labor today?"

I suppose "today" is a key word there. I believe a great mission of women is to give their all in the season they are in. We never know how long these seasons may last-but we give our all when we are called to be in them. We do not live constantly in the future, but we embrace the present. This is true with how we commit to where we live, how we magnify our abilities to support those we are called to serve, how we perform tasks at work, how we embrace each stage of life our children are in and how we sustain our husband in each endeavor he is called to take.

2) Marriage: I did not marry until I was 29 years-old.I am not going to lie, it was really hard. I can remember nights of crying into my pillow and longing for my eternal companionship. I felt at times I had been forgotten when everyone else was so blessed.

I would be lying if I didn't say that this season of being alone was also a wonderful blessing in my life. The opportunities that came my way were countless. I really tried hard to live it up and do everything I could.

The ultimate blessing from this time alone was that I learned that I wanted to be a wife. I had always viewed marriage as my ticket to becoming a Mom and to do cool things like PTA and Girl's Scouts. Being alone allowed me the opportunities to reflect on what truly made great relationships and I realized how much I desired for this in my life.

A few months before I met Marc, my Grandfather passed away. I remember seeing him there in his hospital bed barely able to speak and yet every time, I mean EVERY time my Grandma would tell him she loved him, he would respond back to her, "I love you too". I walked away from that moment in my life realizing I not only wanted to be loved like that, but even more so, I wanted to LOVE like that. I know that my relationship with Marc is the most fundamental connection I have to becoming as God-like as possible.

3) Motherhood: Much of my thoughts on this topic have been blended in above. But I must add a few more thoughts. I am so grateful that Marc brought to our marriage two beautiful daughters. I believe they have a great Mother already and I have no intention of taking her place. I also know that I love Hailey and Melia. I think of them constantly and desire to be a strong example and anchor of love in their lives. I know that families are eternal and I am grateful for the entire family I have been blessed with even if it is not the traditional family I always thought I would have.

I must also say that I never realized how much my heart could ache or flutter with joy until I became a Mother. My babies are a piece of me. Deadlines, perfect outfits and a pristine home is nothing compared to moments I can read, play and laugh with my children.

4) Being Charitable to Others: I think we often believe we know exactly how life should work out. As I said from the beginning, since my young womanhood an outline has been perfectly determined for me. But life doesn't always work out like we had planned. As a matter of fact-it never does. But isn't that wonderful! I think we could spend our lives sulking and caring only for ourselves or we could wake up and realize that we are probably not the only ones with a problem and we all have the power within to make other's lives better. I have found the latter a much more enjoyable way to walk through life.